Many of us have probably felt nervous or threatened out in a public space, whether the person rushing up behind you turned out to be racing to get to a bus stop or the car moving at a snail’s pace alongside you was simply a delivery driver looking for the right address. But just imagine living in constant fear, always looking over your shoulder in case your ex is lurking or actually having to live day-in day-out with someone who is jealous, controlling and possibly violent.

In recent years there have been far too many horrific crimes committed as a result of domestic abuse. Unfortunately, many victims are let down by a criminal justice system that seems poorly equipped to support them legally, there are so many loopholes that enable perpetrators to escape punishment. Having worked previously with Victim Support, I have seen it with my own eyes. A young woman with strangulation marks around her neck, bruising over her body, audio recording of her begging her boyfriend to let go because she can’t breathe, abusive text messages – sounds pretty convincing, right? Wrong, despite there being even more evidence of ongoing abuse than I’ve just shared, the police didn’t believe they had enough to make a strong case. Nothing short of a suspect admitting guilt would seemingly be evidence enough to secure a conviction. 

Shockingly, prosecutions of suspects accused of domestic abuse are down by 45% since 2015. And protective orders, designed to help protect victims from their abusers, don’t seem to be worth the paper they’re written on when they are regularly breached with little fear of further legal action. 

A ‘Joint Justice’ plan was launched jointly by the Police and the Crown Prosecution Service a couple of years ago to improve charge and conviction rates, but nothing happens quickly and resources, as we know, are severely stretched these days.

Protecting yourself – what can you do?

If you’re in a relationship with a partner who has become controlling or violent, or your ex won’t leave you alone, Clare’s Law – the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme – is there for you. Through this scheme you can request information about your current or ex-partner. Official checks will be carried out by your local police force and any information relating to domestic abuse, controlling or coercive behaviour by that person will be disclosed to you.

Importantly, the DVDS isn’t just for women at risk of, or experiencing, domestic abuse. It applies equally to men who are in an abusive relationship and extends to concerned family members or friends of those who appear to be at risk. The service is free and it’s completely confidential.

The DVDS is a great initiative, I don’t think enough people know it exists and I hope this article helps spread awareness a little further. But a background search on a particular person isn’t going to protect you immediately, particularly if you feel vulnerable when you’re going about your daily life. The police-approved Hollie Guard app was developed for just that reason – whether you want to feel more secure when out and about or you’re concerned that you’re being stalked. 

And why not learn self-defence 

You’d be amazed just how Krav Generation students grow in confidence after just a few sessions – and sometimes, a boost in confidence is all it takes to change a situation. Not only that, you are literally arming yourself with the tools to look after yourself if, in the very worst-case scenario, someone tries to physically attack you. God forbid it should happen, but there are so many people out there who will say “no, he/she would never actually hurt or hit me” and then find themselves in fear for their lives.

Please come and join us! Yes, it can feel like a huge step to take – we get it, we understand. Krav Generation is a truly supportive community, you certainly don’t need to share your reasons for joining, and your trainers and fellow students will help you learn valuable self-defence techniques that could make a huge difference to your life.

Need support?

If you, or someone you know, is experiencing domestic abuse, please try to seek help. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free and available 24-hours a day – call 0808 2000 247.