People join Krav Generation for a multitude of reasons. Whilst many like the idea of learning self-defence because it’s useful to know or enjoy it because it’s a different form of exercise, some students have very specific reasons for joining – from one of our older students who was assaulted in a park to a young schoolgirl who was being bullied by fellow pupils.

One student’s experience is a stark reminder that domestic abuse is not always about men abusing women. It can also be about men being abused. Jay (not his real name) was arrested on suspicion of domestic abuse after an accusation by his partner. He tried to present his side of the story but no one would believe him. He was put on bail and released pending further action. The situation was turned on its head when Jay’s partner saw him again and stabbed him. It took that incident to make the police realise that they had failed Jay, that they had shown gender bias in refusing to entertain the possibility of a man being victim to domestic abuse. Is it any wonder that many men endure abuse in silence, because who is ever going to believe them?

Male domestic abuse is rarely discussed

For any nay-sayers, you only need watch My Wife, My Abuser: The Secret Footage. Originally aired on Channel Five in 2024, the programme was then picked up by Netflix and has subsequently attracted a global audience. The bravery of Richard Spencer, the subject of the programme, to allow his story to be openly shared is phenomenal. Even if you don’t watch the programme, take a few minutes to see Richard being interviewed on BBC Breakfast. The pain of his experience, which lasted for years, is palpable. It’s testament to that man’s mental and emotional strength that he has managed to rebuild his life and even enjoy another relationship.

Like Richard, Jay will carry the scars of the abuse he endured, not least the scar from the knife attack. He suffers from PTSD and, not surprisingly, has struggled with self-confidence and finds it hard to trust women. Like Richard, Jay is stronger and more resilient than he realises.

Self-defence skills also improve self-confidence

Because Jay is taking positive steps to rebuild himself and his self-confidence. With every Krav Generation class he attends, he grows. He is helping himself to mend and recover. And that’s the beauty of learning self-defence. Not only do you gain valuable skills that could one day help you in a threatening situation, you learn to believe ‘I matter’, ‘I’m not going to just accept what Life throws at me’.

Having seen Jay, a kind, gentle and considerate man, go through this experience and come out of it determined to get on with life, we think it’s important to help get the message out – domestic abuse is something that happens to both women and men and it extends to same-sex relationships as well. We’ve previously highlighted the help available to women, so we’d also like to champion The Mankind Initiative. This charitable organisation provides a confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse, along with advice and information for friends, family members, colleagues and employers who know someone in need of support.